Are You My Husband?

In 2019, Richard Adams’ wife developed a combination of Alzheimer’s and Vascular Dementia. For four years he has been her full-time carer. He believes he has retained his sanity by getting up early and writing for a couple of hours. It is a kind of therapy, before he goes into the bedroom and announce that he is thinking of getting breakfast. Dementia has robbed his wife the will and the ability to attend to the usual household chores. Sometimes she does not remember who he is. He has slowly come to understand that no one case of dementia is alike, and that there is no one-size-fits-all way of dealing with it. This is his own personal – sometimes very personal – approach. These thirty conversations and reflections record episodes in their relationship and how dementia has impacted upon their lives. He has treated them with honesty and sensitivity, but also with humour, not to make light of what is a difficult experience, but to encourage anyone who is in a similar situation to enjoy a moment of recognition, to smile, even to laugh, but above all to find encouragement, to keep going and be undefeated by the mysterious illness called dementia.